by Helena Hart
The other day I heard someone say, "Complaining makes you a Crap Magnet."
I started thinking about how true that is - and how we can quickly turn that around and become a "Love Magnet" - since what you focus on GROWS.
I think of complaining as "thinking small" - and I know how easy it can be to fall into that place!
You may be at a place where you're feeling stuck, where you feel like there isn't anything that can be done to attract more love into your life.
If you're anything like I was, you may have an "armor" around you that makes you feel that you can't be loved, and that there must be something wrong with you.
I believe that our life's purpose is to love and be loved - and everyone has the ability within them to love and be loved.
We may get hurt along the way and become afraid, jealous, or "grasping." Sometimes our perception is that we're not lovable or that we don't know how to love or allow ourselves to be loved - and we can start to experience the world through the lens of those belief systems.
The good news is, you CAN shift your mind and your experience, and tremendous healing can happen quickly once you're willing to allow it to happen.
3 Steps To Becoming A "Love Magnet"
1. Take a look at where you're coming from.
When it comes to relationships, we're often in a place of judgment, defensiveness, and attack. We tend think that if we're not complaining or attacking, we're going to get hurt. When we're coming from this place, we're actually repelling love.
When we're actively judgmental or attacking, we start to sink into a malaise in our heart where we feel unworthy of love because we're unwilling to be loving.
Deep down you may equate being loving with "giving to get." You may THINK you're being loving towards someone - but if your motivation is to get something in return, that's not loving.
That's when love can feel unsafe - because what you're experiencing isn't loving, even though you may have been taught that's what love is. Love isn't trying to "get" anything - love IS everything! It doesn't lack.
2. Start switching judgment into curiosity.
When you catch yourself judging others, you're actually showing yourself how you're always judging yourself.
For example, if you're self-conscious about your appearance, you'll find yourself constantly judging and evaluating others based on their looks.
Notice how often you're doing this, and try switching it to curiosity instead. Ask yourself questions about that person, and get really curious about them. Ask yourself things like, "I wonder what they do for work?" or "I wonder what their family is like?"
3. "Broadcast" love, gratitude, and appreciation.
When you explore how loving and compassionate you can be - and move into practicing love - you actually release the idea that you HAVE a lack, or that you're lonely, or that you're not enough.
One way to practice love and compassion is to start sending thoughts of love to people as you go about your day. If you're somewhere where there's other people around, like a store or a restaurant - start thinking, "I love your smile" or "I love the way you're looking at her" - and send love to people that way.
Notice everything around you with love, appreciation, and gratitude. Say things to yourself like, "I'm so grateful to be spending time with my friends" or "I really appreciate this delicious food."
Start moving into gratitude, love, and appreciation this way - without trying to control the situation or get anything in return. This will allow you to have more love and compassion towards yourself.
When you have a judgmental or cynical attitude about love, the purpose of that attitude is to REPEL love away because you've made up your mind that love isn't safe.
What's actually not safe is when you're in judgment, because that's when you're in "attack mode." Keep in mind, the person who judges always feels judged, and the attacker always feels attacked.
If you're constantly judging, blaming, or attacking - even if you keep it all to yourself - you won't feel worthy of love.
When you're in a place of your own despair, cynicism, or judgment, you can't even SEE love or accept it from others. You may even feel repelled by their love.
The safest thing you can do is keep your heart totally open. When your heart is closed, your intuition is cut off - and you can start to not trust yourself and start to feel unworthy of love.
"Broadcasting" love, gratitude, and appreciation is how you build that muscle and naturally heal your feelings of unworthiness.
When you do this is, everyone around you will be magnetized to you.
Love IS healing because love is our true nature. When you start practicing love without judgment and without trying to get anything in return, you step into that place of healing - and this can happen quickly!
You can turn from judgment to love in an instant - it's amazing how fast this can happen once you're willing to make the shift.
When we're being loving, we're healing the idea that there's something wrong with us, or that love isn't available to us - because we're actually BEING the love ourselves.