If you miss the way things used to be in your relationship – where everything was new, passionate, and fun – or perhaps your partner is starting to act distant and pull away, this simple shift can start to turn things around. This is still one of the best pieces of relationship advice I've ever gotten!
Every time you look at your partner, you have a choice in that moment. You can think about something you’re lacking – something you’re NOT getting from them – or you can think about something you LIKE about them, or something they do that makes you feel fantastic. That option is yours!
Many people choose to come from a place of LACK – whether they’re conscious of this or not – because most of us were somehow raised to wallow in pain and then “rise above it.” We’re often INSPIRED by our anger or our jealousy.
For me, this was especially the case with the “nice guys” who wanted to love me – I was always looking for reasons to “disqualify” them.
When you’re coming from a place of LACK when you’re with your partner (or a potential relationship partner) – it comes across as needy – and they’ll start to feel like whatever they do, they can never make you happy.
This can cause a lot of damage in a relationship – it ultimately makes your partner feel LESS attracted and connected to you, and it pushes them away.
When it comes to relationships, we're often in a place of judgment, defensiveness, and attack - without even realizing it! Deep down we tend to think that if we're not complaining or attacking, we're going to get hurt.
When we're coming from this place, we're actually REPELLING love. When we're actively judgmental or attacking, we start to sink into a malaise in our heart where we feel unworthy of love because we're unwilling to be loving.
Deep down you may equate being loving with "giving to get." You may think you're being loving towards someone – but if your motivation is to GET something from them in return, that's not loving.
That's when love can feel UNSAFE – because what you're experiencing isn't love, even though you may have been taught that's what love is. Love isn't trying to "get" anything – love IS everything! It doesn't lack.
Next time you look at your partner, try thinking about something you LIKE about them, or something they do that makes you feel cherished and adored.
This will instantly shift your vibe and bring them CLOSER by making them feel more attracted and connected to you!
For more free love and relationship advice, visit www.helenahartcoaching.com. You can instantly download your FREE eBook copy of "3 Keys To Attract The Man You Want" and schedule a FREE 30-minute coaching session with me!