from Feeling Great?
by Danielle MacKinnon
“Selfish” is not a bad word. And if you have a healthy Soul System, you know this, you believe it and you live by it easily putting your needs first without hesitation or guilt.
However, many people have Soul Systems that tell them it is not OK to put their needs first, that the only way to receive love is to earn it and give it and give it and that rocking the boat or demanding what they want from life makes them a bad person.
Is this you? If you were in a disagreement with a friend and that friend called you selfish, would that stop you in your tracks? Would you feel terrible and retract what you were doing? For so many of us, being called selfish is worse than the worst curse word out there! In fact, because of this, do you find that you give a lot to your family and friends? Do you tend to say, “yes” when really you’re thinking, “oooohhh no!?” Do you over commit to others in order to help them, when you’re really in need of some help yourself? Do you feel
terrible for asking for assistance and will instead try to do everything possible to resist needing it?
If you can answer yes to these questions, your Soul System isn’t working in your favor! Your Soul System contains three main components:
1. Positive, wonderful, healthy beliefs about who you are
2. Any existing negative beliefs about yourself (called Seed Thoughts)
3. Any Soul Contracts deals you’ve made with yourself to try and escape
your Seed Thoughts.
Healthy beliefs are, “I am good, whole, wonderful, and powerful” or “I am
worthy of love.” But if you’re afraid of being called selfish, you most likely
have an unhealthy belief (Seed Thought) about yourself such as, “I’m not
good enough.” And funny enough, you probably put a whole bunch of Soul
Contracts in place to try and make you think you ARE good enough.
This is why I love Soul Contracts and Seed Thoughts – they are maps into
what we really think, feel and believe about ourselves AND those maps lead
us to exactly where we need to work within if we want to move forward in
our evolution as souls. If you believe you’re not good enough, what will you
do? You’ll try to counteract that with certain behaviors and decisions. You
might give to others over and over again at your own expense to prove to
yourself your goodness (Overgiving Soul Contract). OR you may sacrifice
your own needs again and again to show that you put everyone else before you
(Martyrdom Soul Contract). You may even choose not to speak up about your
own ideas because you don’t want to overpower anyone and put your words
first (Don’t rock the boat Soul Contract.) Crazy right?
If you are one of the many, many people in the world who fear being selfish,
it’s time to stop and look at what you really fear – because “selfish” isn’t the
actual root. What is “selfish” anyway? Thesaurus.com defines it as “thinking
of only oneself.” Is this really a bad thing? If you meet your needs and you’re
feeling happy, healthy, and whole wouldn’t that only allow you to better help
and be more available to help others? Wouldn’t you prefer that a grounded,
clear and balanced person assist you rather than someone tired and overworked,
who has been running around like crazy, offer you their assistance? Worrying
about being selfish, actually doesn’t make much sense because at the end of
the day, we all must take care of ourselves. It’s a simple as that. So, each of us
must then be “selfish” in order to survive. It really can’t be a bad thing then,
So, what do you really fear, when you worry about someone thinking you’re
selfish? As it turns out, most people fear it being found out that they really
aren’t a very good person deep down. The sacrificing, martyrdom, overgiving
and keeping quiet are really more like smoke screens, ensuring that no one
sees what underlies your good deeds: a bad person or an undeserving person.
In other words, your drive to be selfless and unselfish is really your way of
protecting your hidden Seed Thoughts that tell you – you’re just not good
Next time you find yourself trying to choose between being there for another
person and taking care of yourself, try an experiment. Change the situation
around so that at least some of your own needs can be met as well, even if it
means that things aren’t 100% perfect for the other person involved. Go past
the worry about being selfish and notice how vulnerable it makes you feel.
Rather than focusing on how you can do, do, do for others, the answer is in
this vulnerability. This is where your inner journey really starts. It will be
uncomfortable – but it’s THAT discomfort that it’s time for you to explore!
Learn more about Danielle on her website: www.daniellemackinnon.com
Intuitive coach and animal communicator, Danielle MacKinnon has been named one of the country’s Best Psychic Mediums by Psychic Investigator Bob Olson and one of the top 100 Psychics and Astrologers by Paulette Cooper and Paul Noble.
She has appeared on national TV and has been featured on countless radio programs around the world. She’s also a popular teacher on soul connections, animal communication and more at The Omega Institute as well as other globally recognized teaching and wellness institutions.
Today, Danielle uses her unique skills to lead thousands of people through their challenges into a world of possibility and brilliance every year. Her first book, Soul Contracts can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Noble now.