Allows You To Do
by Pamina Mullins
Metaphorically that is!
Summoning the courage to be totally transparent with your SELF is
the bravest thing you will ever do! It’s not pleasant at the time—trust
me, I’ve been there; many times. There’s nowhere to hide, no one to
blame—and no going back!
But personal transparency grants you the freedom to celebrate the
best of you and identify the areas that—ummm….. require work.
When you really KNOW your self and take responsibility for all
that you are it allows you to dump the energy intensive rigidity of
maintaining elaborate defense mechanisms. It enables you to release
the need to be right at any cost.
You no longer feel obligated to conform to other people’s standards
to gain acceptance. You can agree to disagree comfortably, when
your sense of SELF is strong. You know that everyone—including
you has their own unique perceptions (and misperceptions). This
creates compassion—for yourself and those who stumble along
a similarly challenging road to self awareness. It allows you to
understand and embrace the diversity of life. Once you’ve plucked up
the courage to peer into your depths, you realize what a mixed bag
we all are.
When you really know yourself, you don’t fear failure.
You know there is no such thing—only feedback. When you know
your strengths and weaknesses intimately—and embrace your
perfectly imperfect SELF, it grants you the confidence to commit
wholeheartedly to one person or project at a time. You no longer
need to juggle a multitude of options, and end up doing them all half
There’s no need to leave multiple escape routes, because the terror
of rejection is holding you hostage. With self esteem, self respect
and self value comes freedom. You know you can’t please everyone.
You have no desire to. You already have your own approval. This
automatically makes you more resilient, and your curiosity becomes
stronger than your fear.
The sheer euphoria of exploration overrides the need for fear
driven self protection.
You are fully aware that success isn’t guaranteed, but that doesn’t
deter you. You know that life is full of potholes, detours and ruts; that
you don’t hold the franchise on the tough stuff of life; that it happens
to everyone and that it’s an inevitable consequence of the human
experience—and has been since the beginning of time. You accept
that you are part of a 7 billion strong team—humanity—and that
mistake is just another word for I’ve-learned-a-better-way.
How can you have self respect, self value or self compassion
without self awareness?
Since we can’t give what we don’t have, how can you give these
things to others? And without self awareness how can you manifest--
if you don’t really know who you are, what you want or what you are
How can you quit people pleasing, if the only frame of reference you
have is how others perceive you; when you have no authentic identity
of your own, you need those votes!
Here are 20 brave things Accountability and Self Awareness
Allow You To Do:
1. Know where you’re going and why.
2. Confront something or someone with confidence, because it
won’t go away until you do.
3. Say I love you first—with no guarantee of being loved back.
4. Stand up and speak up for yourself—and for people you care
about, regardless of the consequences.
5. Admit you’re afraid.
6. Reach out for help when you need it.
7. Say NO, without guilt when necessary.
8. Pace yourself.
9. Be accountable instead of hiding in excuse riddled comfort
10. Start something new when there are no guarantees of
11. Admit you may be wrong.
12. Ask for forgiveness, even if it feels like baring your belly in the
face of the enemy.
13. Let go of control, although it feels like bungee jumping.
14. Shed the social masks, even when it feels like you’re naked on
15. Commit to what you fear the most.
16. Dump the weight of all that protective armor you’ve been
17. Breathe…instead of suffocating behind a mask of social
18. Drop those unwieldy weapons of defense, because they’ve
19. Strip off the camouflage—and just be your SELF.
20. Know that you are a work in progress and that YOU are
Yes, it is scary!
As Brene Brown says if you decide to walk into the arena and
dare greatly, you’re going to get kicked around. It requires extreme
courage to strip off the imprinted you in order to find the real you; and
the tenacity to stick with the process. It will be uncomfortable for a
while. Your social network ratings may well plummet. You will almost
certainly meet with resistance and criticism. People may not know
who you really are. Even you may not recognize your SELF!
Because it’s so scary, often the desire to get to know the real you
doesn’t occur until you’ve hit rock bottom. Some hit rock bottom--
and keep right on going; prolonging the torture with resistance to the
inevitable. But if you don’t take ownership of your life—someone else
will. Then you become a slave to their desires and dreams, instead of
a pioneer of your own.
Make no mistake, how we feel about ourselves oozes out of our
And trying to stop the oozing is a full time occupation that drains vast
amounts of energy. The courage to rebirth yourself is born when the
urge to get to know the real you becomes stronger than the strain of
clinging to the pseudo you.
Confidence is a doing thing! It doesn’t come from reading about it,
wishing you had it, watching others who have it or learning the theory.
It doesn’t even come by repeating mantras and affirmations—unless
they’re put into action.
Every confident person I’ve ever known has had the courage to
strip naked—again and again.
Yes, it’s a risky business. It requires committing to what you fear the
most; dumping the protective armor, coming out from behind the
social masks, laying down the defensive weapons, and stripping off
the camouflage. In other words—getting naked.
This is what allows you to negotiate the tough stuff of life with
resilience, courage and grace.
Sometimes when you’re teetering on the edge of catastrophe
confidence in your ability to survive is ALL you have.
At a time like this, if you don’t know, value or trust yourself—you’re in
What brave things has self awareness allowed you to do?
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