by getting "rid of it" is a mind game you can’t win
by Rev Lorraine Cohen
I’ve been dancing with fear all my life. For example, when I was in my 30’s I overcame fear of public speaking to become a sought after speaker and I moved to a new state with little money and no steady income to build a coaching/spiritual guidance/therapy practice that is approaching its 28th year. Was it scary? Hell yeah.
How did I deal with my fears and doubts? At the time I used what most people were working with: affirmations, creative visualization, focusing on being in the present, breathing, hypnosis, emotionally eating….techniques geared to interrupt the mental messages, body sensations, and change beliefs and “get rid” of the fear feelings.
The focus was all about stopping and getting rid of unwanted fears and feelings.
In the late 1990’s my life fell apart for the second time. After buying a new home, a new car, doing some home renovations, my therapy practice suddenly began to steadily decline. Money fears created a panic and I found the usual mind control techniques failed to provide any long term relief. I had periods of feeling terrified, helpless, angry, desperate, and sad. At other times I saw something miraculous happening that would change my life if I just stayed strong, trusted and went the distance through the darkness into the Light.
I realized that facing fear is not about overcoming it, it is about walking through it. I began looking at fear in a new light…
Instead, imagine seeing fear as an ally to:
- Keep you out of harm’s way by alerting you to danger
- Help you to discern when you need to set healthy boundaries to be safe and protected
- Support you in developing courage to show up to LIFE
- Build faith in yourself, others, and God
- Provide motivational and inspirational energy to break through perceived limitations and illusions to stand in your greatness.
- Show you when the “little you” inside needs attention and comfort; to feel love, care, and protection
- Empower you to find your voice in your relationships, your business and in the message you wish to share with the world.
- And most importantly, show you when you have disconnected from the Divine within you, the true source of your power.
As long as you see your fears as an enemy to defeat, you will continue to wage war against yourself.
To transform fear you must walk through it… to see the illusions and reclaim your Power.
The darkness or challenge is a pathway to the Light. You can get stuck in the story of a perceived problem. When you look for the deeper meaning of each experience that challenges you, you will always find healing, learning and growth opportunities.
Debbie Ford once wrote:
“Love the fears that you hold in your hand more than anything you have ever loved before.
Think about all the hours you have spent trying to deny, avoid, and get rid of these fears, and thank them for showing you your human limitations
Thank your fear for sending you out to look for ways to get rid of it. Look at how you have grown, healed and evolved in your search! Think of all you've discovered during your search!
Thank your fear for bringing you into a journey of self-discovery to find your True Self and reunite with The Divine
Thank your fear for guiding you to see illusions created by your mind and being the catalyst for inspiration and motivation to take steps in faith, trust, and courage.
Thank your soul for bringing fear into your life as a pathway to find your way back home to God – this presence within you that loves you dearly– this energy that always triumphs fear.
Love your fears as you would anything you cherish- bless them, honor them, and use them as the sacred reminders that they are...lighting the way back to the wholeness of your Sacred Self and into the loving embrace of the Divine. “
You are living at an auspicious time in history, waking up to see life through a new set of eyes in this Era of Enlightenment. Fear will continue to be a part of your life experience as you grow and evolve. A critical key to dance in this new energy is to learn how to live in the present moment, embracing each experience without resistance and allowing your feelings to be fully felt without trying to control, manage, move, and direct their elimination.
Any attempt you do to try to control your experience will create more resistance and suffering.
Imagine a fire burning and your resistance is like continuing to throw logs on the fire to keep it going.
Feel your fears (and every emotion) without focusing on the mental story your mind/ego is creating.
Experience your emotions as the energy they are and breathe into them, doing NOTHING. Just feel, breathe and notice… body sensations, thoughts swirling…whatever…..let your emotions play out….
Without resistance and actively engaging your efforts to get rid of or stop what you don’t want to feel, the emotions will begin to burn out and fall apart leading to transformation. Peace and Grace will rush in when you stop fighting.
Embrace your fears with love instead of judging them and doing battle. Your life will change....